A r t i s t   S t a t e m e n t

Life is pain. It is an endless process of daily failures, small and large, that result in guilt. I always think about my faults. I can't forget them or stop making them. They accumulate inside of me with pain. I can't get out of the guiltiness while I am alive, because I do not have a God who can forgive me. God is dead inside of me. Perhaps I murdered God, so I must be in pain.

So, I paint. As I paint, the pain flows out from my body through each brush stroke, and it stays in canvas as every single mark. I repeat this simple ritual everyday. This time is the most calm and peaceful, like a moment of prayer. I fossilize my guilt and bury it under oblivion. For a little while, as I paint, I can forget my uncomfortable emotions and be free from my guiltiness.

When I paint, I do not reveal my pain as it is. That is too cruel and monstrous. I wrap the pain and the memory inside a paradise. I am not able to identify whether the process is a positive healing or a negative distortion. It might be proven by time, at the end of my life. Currently, I paint. I just paint.

Oct. 2015 

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